Friday 12 August 2011

Three ways to deal with an apocalypse

Morning after the Flood  1928

From Carol Jacobs's "Playing Jane Campion's Piano: Politically" (1994):

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi were walking along the beach together when a great angel with diaphanous wings approached them. He announced an apocalypse near at hand, telling them of a great flood that was to come the very next day. The priest hurried back to his church with a deeply troubled visage. "The end of the world is at hand," he intoned: "We must all make our last confessions, receive absolution, and prepare for the hereafter." The Protestant minister returned to his flock. "In just one day," he called out, "all the land will be covered with water. We must find it in our hearts and minds to accept the will of God." The rabbi, she too, made her way back to her congregation. With a great sense of urgency she turned to her audience and announced: "We have just twenty-four hours to learn to live underwater."

"I'm asking the sea to welcome me."
- Tungia Baker


1 comment:

  1. Love it. reminds me of the one about the rich man who was about to die. He called in a priest, a minister and a rabbi. He told them he wanted to take his money with him. He said he did not trust the lawyers, but he trusted them. He wanted them to put his money in his coffin after he died. Each would be given a million dollars to put in the coffin.

    Not long afterwards the man died and each received a million dollars. At the funeral each of them went by the casket and deposited an envelope.

    Later they met for a drink. The priest confessed that his church had money problems and that he had put an empty envelope in the coffin. Then the minister sheepishly confessed that he too had put an empty envelope in as well.

    The rabbi then spoke up saying "I am shocked at your behavior. You promised to put in a million dollars into the dead man's casket."

    The priest and minister asked it the rabbi had put a million into the casket.

    "Of course I did" he said. "I wrote him a personal check for a million dollars"


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